Okay, if you saw the title of this, say, twenty years ago, you might have thought it to be a strange fairy tale, or, perhaps, the title of a bad Science-Fiction novel. But since this is D.A. 2011 ("Digital Age"), you know what I speak of is an Apple bluetooth mouse, a critical accessory to my new (and, in other respects, terrific) MacIntosh Desktop OS X 10.6.6. When I first set it up and installed all the software, the wireless mouse and keypad worked fine. Soon, alas, I saw a "battery low" indication on the computer. I disconnected the bluetooth mouse and plugged my old trusty "USB" mouse, which worked just fine. Since there are nice features peculiar to the bluetooth mouse, I brought it into the local Apple store, and sought the guidance of one of their resident "geniuses." While he had no explanation for the quick wear-down of the factory supplied batteries, he did suggest that the solution lay in my purchasing an Apple charger and four Apple rechargeable batteries to obviate the likelihood of the batteries wearing out in the future. This, I was told, could be had for a mere $29.00. Why such an accessory was not included in my otherwise state of the art (and pricey) computer, was not explained, apart from the obvious fact that such needed accessories are yet another reason for Apple's extraordinary success.
Imagine my surprise when the rechargeable batteries did not help my bluetooth mouse move the dormant arrow on my computer screen. I reluctantly reconnected my faithful "USB" mouse, which worked just fine, and charged my "rechargeable" batteries overnight. The next morning, sad to say, the supposedly reinvigorated batteries failed to get a rise out of my impotent bluetooth mouse. I went on-line and typed in my problem (as described above), not once, but twice. I was then told that an on-line"genius" could answer my question if I agreed to a $38 fee. Now, I have both the original plus an extended warranty I purchased for the product, and found the "offer" of the $38 charge for a covered service was adding insult to injury. (Permit me, please, a brief digression on Apple marketing. Given the $29 cost of the re-charger and the $38 fee for the promised assistance of the on-line "genius," one can't help but wonder about the process by which Apple decided on what to charge for these products. It's like the old gimmick of charging $19.99 to make it seem less than $20.00. I wonder who the "genius" is who suggested those odd prices.)
Reluctant to pay for Apple's on-line assistance, I opted to patiently wait my turn to speak to a real live Apple person. When he at last came on the phone and announced his name as "Hal," I couldn't help but flash on the Kubrick's "2001." He was, however, "real," and, as luck would have it, couldn't have been nicer. He assured me that there would be no charge for his assistance. After trying numerous tests, he couldn't figure out why my keyboard should work and my mouse remain hiding in its digital hole. Excusing himself to consult his supervisor, he returned to have me disconnect, than reconnect my bluetooth software. At long last, my bluetooth mouse regained its teeth, and I am typing the very blog you see with its assistance.
Much is made about the impatience of the younger generation and how they now lack the attention span to write a e-mail let alone a ("snail-mail") letter, and how they can barely skip from tweet to abbreviated tweet (one is reminded of the old Speedwriting subway ad "If u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb & hi pay"). I think this is a bum rap. After having navigated (in the digital equivalent of hunting and pecking) my way around my computer, iPod, iPad, Blackberry, and fax/printer/copier/scanner, and having to endure seemingly endless waits to establish human contact (including, in its preposterous extreme, trying to call a number to get assistance on an inoperable computer only to be advised by the voice robot--just before disconnecting the call-- that I should seek assistance by going on-line), I have nothing but respect for the endurance of the younger generation. They have to have inexhaustible patience to endure the waits, end-runs, misdirections, and dead ends that are the way-stations of cyber-space. Bravo, young folks! In an earlier day, I would have called or written the President of the company in question and--after being foisted off to an earnest underling-- been able to more easily air my complaint (and vent my frustrations). With luck, I would have received a coupon redeemable for an industrial sized box of Cheerios.
Now, even the telephone company (or, more accurately, companies), utilizes voice robots and refers you their websites when you attempt to get information relevant to a device which, after all, is meant to facilitate oral conversation. If there is one type of business that you might expect to have retained person-to-person contact, it would have been the telecommunications industry. Believe me, if they want to communicate with you to, say, expand your services, they know how to reach out with a human being and contact you in the middle of dinner by phone.
But, in the spirit of being wary of getting what you wish for, after waiting to speak with a friendly representative from (fill in name of company), you may wind up having your horizons broadened by a polite young man or woman from Calcutta, who hasn't the slightest idea of how to address, let alone, redress, your problem. LOL,
John
Imagine my surprise when the rechargeable batteries did not help my bluetooth mouse move the dormant arrow on my computer screen. I reluctantly reconnected my faithful "USB" mouse, which worked just fine, and charged my "rechargeable" batteries overnight. The next morning, sad to say, the supposedly reinvigorated batteries failed to get a rise out of my impotent bluetooth mouse. I went on-line and typed in my problem (as described above), not once, but twice. I was then told that an on-line"genius" could answer my question if I agreed to a $38 fee. Now, I have both the original plus an extended warranty I purchased for the product, and found the "offer" of the $38 charge for a covered service was adding insult to injury. (Permit me, please, a brief digression on Apple marketing. Given the $29 cost of the re-charger and the $38 fee for the promised assistance of the on-line "genius," one can't help but wonder about the process by which Apple decided on what to charge for these products. It's like the old gimmick of charging $19.99 to make it seem less than $20.00. I wonder who the "genius" is who suggested those odd prices.)
Reluctant to pay for Apple's on-line assistance, I opted to patiently wait my turn to speak to a real live Apple person. When he at last came on the phone and announced his name as "Hal," I couldn't help but flash on the Kubrick's "2001." He was, however, "real," and, as luck would have it, couldn't have been nicer. He assured me that there would be no charge for his assistance. After trying numerous tests, he couldn't figure out why my keyboard should work and my mouse remain hiding in its digital hole. Excusing himself to consult his supervisor, he returned to have me disconnect, than reconnect my bluetooth software. At long last, my bluetooth mouse regained its teeth, and I am typing the very blog you see with its assistance.
Much is made about the impatience of the younger generation and how they now lack the attention span to write a e-mail let alone a ("snail-mail") letter, and how they can barely skip from tweet to abbreviated tweet (one is reminded of the old Speedwriting subway ad "If u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb & hi pay"). I think this is a bum rap. After having navigated (in the digital equivalent of hunting and pecking) my way around my computer, iPod, iPad, Blackberry, and fax/printer/copier/scanner, and having to endure seemingly endless waits to establish human contact (including, in its preposterous extreme, trying to call a number to get assistance on an inoperable computer only to be advised by the voice robot--just before disconnecting the call-- that I should seek assistance by going on-line), I have nothing but respect for the endurance of the younger generation. They have to have inexhaustible patience to endure the waits, end-runs, misdirections, and dead ends that are the way-stations of cyber-space. Bravo, young folks! In an earlier day, I would have called or written the President of the company in question and--after being foisted off to an earnest underling-- been able to more easily air my complaint (and vent my frustrations). With luck, I would have received a coupon redeemable for an industrial sized box of Cheerios.
Now, even the telephone company (or, more accurately, companies), utilizes voice robots and refers you their websites when you attempt to get information relevant to a device which, after all, is meant to facilitate oral conversation. If there is one type of business that you might expect to have retained person-to-person contact, it would have been the telecommunications industry. Believe me, if they want to communicate with you to, say, expand your services, they know how to reach out with a human being and contact you in the middle of dinner by phone.
But, in the spirit of being wary of getting what you wish for, after waiting to speak with a friendly representative from (fill in name of company), you may wind up having your horizons broadened by a polite young man or woman from Calcutta, who hasn't the slightest idea of how to address, let alone, redress, your problem. LOL,
John
The quintessential 21st century tale of woe!
ReplyDeleteAs always, your little essays are spot on.
Sujo